The Awakening: Dissimulation Lyrics

I am wasting away
The desires of my mind left
A shameful path walked by a man
Surely unworthy of grace
And I have no one to blame
And no one to take the pain away
I've had my life
Hit the bottom multiple times before my eyes
So I'm left wasting away, wasting away
But I'm supposed to believe
That I can be saved
When the life I've lead is so despicable
Can I push the limits, be accepted for the things that I've done
Behind closed doors
For I've lived a life that I'm ashamed of
Will I be forgiven, or abandoned for the secrets I keep
Behind closed doors
Never had I imagined I'd seek forgiveness
And be accepted
Like I had never committed these sins
As I lay filthy, disgusted at my own reflection
I slowly I wonder if I'll ever end this suffering

So I bide my time
And I lie awake at night
Then I close my eyes
And wonder if I'll ever wake up
It's been too long now
Since I could believe
In places for people like me
To have their sins washed clean
It's been too long
Since I believed
Can I be clean
It's been too long