Depth of Desperation Lyrics

Are these tears of joy or just the rain of another storm beating on my face?
I just don't know anymore
Just let it be, let in the pain of being human
Just let it be, let in the fear of never knowing
Just let it go, these manufactured ideals of life and death
So as i crawl bloody knee by knee, to my new home, there's no chance in hell I'll ever look back
I'll never look back
Tossed over the side, hands and feet tied
Into the depths of desperation, where my demons await to tear me up
Lest I let the sea fill my lungs with cowardice and grief
I'm an open book with a heart on its sleeve
Left with no one who ever cared enough to read the whole story
Tossed over the side, hands and feet tied
This is the end of me and the start of who I've become
The harsh reality is slowly sinking in
And it's never felt so poisonous
It's slowly sinking in
I will always remember what you said
"Sometimes you have to believe in something more than yourself."
I'll always remember
Not facing the truth is as deceiving as turning your back on all the lies
That you've made up in your head
Is this what they call life?
I'll always remember what you said
But father it's getting harder to hear your voice in my crowded up head
Filled with sin and the struggle of sacrifice that I have you to defeat
A life long battle of reaching a piece of mind with no choice to retreat
I keep seeing myself 10 years from now
Still yet a young man with a reflection that I have only seen in my old man
50 years of stress and pain
I cannot live like this
We will not die like this, let the grass and dirt cover up my name
I cannot live like this
My god, this is only earth
My god