Vessel (Candle / Vessel / To Be Without) Lyrics

"You see here, we fell into the sky that night. Me and you. I looked up and I could feel the heat of the distant stars grow nearer and the cold of this world dissipate into faded memories of a lifetime forgotten. One which isn't even real anymore. So I find myself wondering if what I remember is actually real, or a dream or something. Hell maybe it's just my imagination. But I remember it pretty clearly, how we got here.
We were sitting by the window up in your room. Just loaded the gun with our bloody hands and I can remember the sting of holding yours. It felt like a thousand needles ran up my wrist, and that it was only suspended in the vacuum, by nothing really. The chill from the open window went right through me, like I had left long before. Have you ever felt that before? That cold so empty you almost don't feel it. You're ok with it. It's not cold. It's nice. The blood on our wrists seemed to freeze in place, and then disappear. If it wasn't for the red I would believe it had gone. It had never happened. I sat there holding you, and I can't remember why. The barrel chilled my teeth. It tasted like your mouth. Like smoke and powder, and blood. My eyes began to water and weep and I felt my body twitching. I didn't cry. I didn't want to end my life. I didn't want anything. I just had to leave. So I closed my eyes. I opened them when I felt that weightlessness. I saw myself floating above you slowly and wondered how I could stop it. I didn't know what happened. I couldn't speak. I kept rising. Right out that window, and I could fly. I turned and left you there. At that moment I had seen everything. The landscapes of mountains and the skyline of the ocean. I felt nothing. An absence of presence. I ended up here, with you again, in little more than a blink. I don't know how long I spent there. Looking around. I don't remember what I was looking for and if I found it. I don't remember if it was a dream or not. I don't really remember where we are anymore.
Where am I?"

I exist within a false reality of slit wrists and dead reason
Each day crawls with the uncertainty of my continuing existence
I reach into the well of life with a starving soul
And grasp at the nothingness that awaits me
The false hope of relief rips through my chest
The fear collapses into contempt of everlasting ache

To what reasoning do I owe such misery?
To what world must I travel that holds the truth?

God has cast me into a chasm
Of collapsed perceptions and abandoned hope
For this is where I will sleep...

The truth I seek is not here
I have no end to this here
The end of the barrel
Will be my vessel
It will carry me to truth
I will bring me truth

I am floating above oceans
Breathing above the sky
The tides recede, never to return
They carry me back
Where am I?

"There was this kid up on the podium, talking about him. Sharing some memories and playing his guitar. The sun was going down and we had all just lit our candles. There was that moment in the sky, where it's still a little blue, but the sun had long since set. That feeling of inevitability that everyone had. There was nothing they could do to stop it, so we just sat there out with our little lights. The sun was setting. There was no stopping it. Soon our candles will burn out and we'll be engulfed in that dread. So we did just that. We sang about him. Laughed over him. Cemented our eternal memory of every second he was here. The boy kept singing. He looked so alone up on that podium for a while, but something changed. I saw Ambryn that night. Sat up on the podium, next to that poor kid. Right as I saw him, the kid's voice died, and he began to cry."