Preschool Cesspool Lyrics

Time to wake up, son, time to go to school!
Here, put on your socks, let me wipe off all that drool
No you can’t have chicken nuggets, mommy made some eggs
I’m sorry, that’s the rule, so please stop biting my legs

Driving into school, with Kidz Bop on repeat
Have a good day son while I go feel a moment’s peace
You sneeze in my mouth, I cringe and say bless you
You run off and I’m pretty sure you just gave me the flu

I used to be a man
I used to be a person, but
Now I’m just a meal ticket for a parasite
Life support system for a greedy little tyke
All my dreams and plans had to take a backseat
To a twenty pound crying, whining, shitty sack of meat

I don’t know how the moon, no, and I don’t know why a tree
I don’t know why you ask these questions so incessantly
What’d you do today, oh you saw a cat, that’s nice
I contemplated the abyss as I grieved for my life

Son, your baby sister’s sternum is not a trampoline
Why is peanut butter toast stuck on my computer screen
I’ve read you five stories, now will you please go to sleep
Fine, I’ll read you another, you selfish little creep

I used to have fun
I used to have friends, but
Now I don’t have anything in my life
but the unceasing march of time
Everyone I know is a parent too
and their kids suck as much as mine

Eat your peas

Preschool cesspool (x4)

No one at that school makes the children wash their hands
Then they go home, spread disease across the land
Filthy microbes have infested all my cells
I got what I deserved in a self-made hell

I used to be fine
I used to be healthy, but
Now I’m just a shell, just a walking garbage pile
Here’s your fish sticks, laundry’s done dear, meanwhile
Can’t take a second for myself to putrify, but
Maybe, if I’m very very lucky, I could die
In this

Preschool cesspool (x4)