Wallowing in the Mire Lyrics

Another day the shadows wake me, the sunlight pierced through my eyes
Is this the day the pain will take me and when it does it's no surprise
I find my deeds bring destruction, unraveling all that I love
An evil day, will someone wake me, will someone take me, will someone shake me?!

I'm wallowing in the mire; I'm rolling in the mud
I'm sinking deeper everyday; don't tell me about a cleansing flood

I found a way to hide my sins; from God, from people, even me
My friends away - it's me who wins, and no one else will ever see
I love this sin, but hate the shame, this back and forth may drive me mad
I get my way; I keep my sins, tell me who wins, does Christ's blood cleanse?!

I love these feelings and I want some more
And feelings, too, I'm trying to ignore
The kind of filth a shower cannot clean
Guilt and shame that gets down in between
My flesh and heart & soul – can I be free?
What is it that those Christians said to me?