Autopsy Suite Lyrics

My beloved autopsy ward, the product of hospital architects
Inspected and approved by the College of American Pathologists
Adjacent to the morgue and behind the administrative receptionist
Kept under lock and key, available only to us morbid scientists...
Two stationary MedRax® dissection slabs and a moveable body hoist
Their stainless steel plating scrubbed, sanitized, and still moist
The tables are set at regulation height to avoid unnecessary strain
Disinfected water pumps and aspirators wash debris down the drain...
White tiled walls...epoxy sealed floor
Adequate overhead lighting...to grossly explore
Tools of the trade...filed away in drawers
10,000 square feet...of legally sanctioned gore
Morgue design, of the most practical kind
Dictates the efficient dissection of your fellow mankind
The layout of the autopsy ward should be nefariously refined
And elevate necropsy to an art, for those so inclined...
Air conditioning design and primary system ventilation
Enable complete aeration of formaldehyde fixative in dissection stations
The ventilation hoods and exhaust design steal the odor of putrefaction
And are in accordance with the Occupational Safety and Health Administration...
Cabinet space...for microbiological supplies
Medical twine...for the closure stitches I tie
Bone saw whine...a postmortem lullaby
Dictation equipment...court records to testify
For my Stryker® saw, disassembled and cleaned
I pen this requiem, in honor of the remains it's seen
For my Stubenhauer® scalpel, sharpened and honed
I compose this sonata, for the autopsies it's performed...
The whiteboard conveniently located next to the hanging organ scale
Lists charts lucubrately completed with organ weights and interesting details
Close by, the x-ray facility and the many knobs and dials it entails
Will ensure, with accurate forensics, that diagnostic truth shall prevail...
The adjoining dressing room houses lockers and showers
So that medical personnel will be routinely scrubbed and scoured
Hands are cleansed with Iodophor soap; germs are devoured
Surfaces are soaked with phenol-based detergents at any given hour...
Pressured Autoclaves...cook instrument debris
Disposal bins...full of pieces disembodied
Spare flash bulbs...for body photography
Specimen bags...hold paraffin-set tissue trophies
The science of death...a morbid philosophy
Death certificate pad...the coroner's eulogy
My beloved morgue...home of forensic pathology
The autopsy suite...for life's final catastrophes