Night of the Living Douche Lyrics

As the moon took dominion
In the otherwise blackened sky
So began the night of terror
Pretention reigns!

His fedora adorns his head
Like a woven crown of filth
A carapace of second-hand garbage
Praise Hipsturbia!

On his tre-chic shaker of bones
He scans the streets to expand his court
Thrift-store squatters begging to be seen
Shunning conformity by conforming

They gather 'round their savior
Pants too tight to properly kneel
Arms raised to show their loyalty
Pit stains shining brightly

De-lensed spectacles and ill-fitting garb
Coalescing into a pompous beast
No one is safe, for their strength is in numbers
The one percent, with the power of 99

With one word from 'neath the twisted 'stache
The hordes begin their ironic assault
Destruction to build their empire
Based on lethargy, a senseless war to prove they're more than human garbage tonight

The arcades are set on fire
As fleet as foxes, a musk to match
Running down cuties death cab
The postal service turned to dust

Flames drain the neutral milk hotel
Whatever the fuck that means
Better tell the MGMT
There's more to fear than vampires this weekend

With prayers to St. Vincent, for an efficient attack
But truly just a mess, reflective of their lives
In the name of tuneless gods they honor
Too self-absorbed to see it's nothing but shit

As the sun peaks, carnage illuminated
The truth revealed, only their haunts assaulted
So they retire to the darkest corners
Their leader dons the garb of the Wall Street whore that he is by day