Doc Johnson Lyrics

Sent from the future
A multipurpose killing machine
Disguised as pleasure, the bringer of judgment
Crusty little sex shop open late
Gav drives past "That's a new addition"
Sitting in the window, the toy of his dreams
A pink automatic dildo machine
"I'll take that please, how much?"
"Well how does forty-four fifty sound?
Just found it out the back, got no idea where it came from
A mystery sex toy"
Gav loads it into the Van
"Could I grab some lube please, a ball gag plus these DVDs?"
He races home, straight into the lounge room
Plugs it in ready and armed, totally unaware
Pre-empted by future machines
They know Gavin's a dirty sex fiend
Designed to tear him apart
He starts it up, preparing his anus
"Ugh this is better than my first huffy"
Increasing speed, aimed at its target
"That'll be right, it's faulty, slow the fuck down"
Spikes shoot sideways from the dildo, Gav is trapped
Punching further and further into his guts
Screaming and bleeding profusely, praying to god
"Please don't let me die"
Stabbing through his lungs, a jagged massive willy
Coughing blood, muttering his last words
"Just go for the kill. I've had enough my love"
Piercing the cranium, Gav is fucked through the head
Brain matter spills onto his pet cat Snowball
Another future general terminated
Used as a litter tray for weeks to come
Half eaten by his cat