Man's Best Friend Lyrics

Wally loves to take Rex for a walk every Saturday Morning ‘round the block
Picking up his droppings with his plastic bag
Rex is well trained and knows a dozen impressive tricks Shmackos are his reward for being obedient
When he misbehaves he has to go without food and water for a few days
Luckily he has learned how to do all the things that please his master

Wally walks down to the basement and sees his best friend sitting in a puddle of piss, looking guilty as fuck
"You naughty little bastard you should know better
Come upstairs right now and receive your punishment"

Rex is led to the bedroom
His latex suit unzipped exposing his chapped and prolapsed asshole
He has earned a tasty treat for being a good boy and doing what he's told
"Who says you can't teach an old dog new tricks? You know how to handle a bone
Lets chill and watch Game Of Thrones"

Later Wally tries to get his pet all excited
"It's time for walkies!"
As they head down the street a young woman sees Wally walking Rex on his leash
"That's disgusting parading that poor young man around like that"
"Check your privilege bitch, I Identify as canine"

Rex loses control
He bites deep into her leg ripping out a chunk of flesh
"I'll teach you some respect"
He snarls throwing her to the floor
Grabbing her thigh in agony
Rex cocks his leg up marking his territory
Her screams seem to delight the mongrel
He sniffs her ass and licks her face then goes straight for her neck
Ripping out her throat with his vicious bite
Her screams are silenced with a sickening gurgle
"Who's a good boy?" Wally gives him a treat
Man's best friend
Once they return home Rex stands up, removing his collar
"I'll see you at work on Monday" he says as he gets dressed "I'll see you then mate"