TEMPER TANTRUM Lyrics

You call yourself a man
I can leg press like 500 lbs with only one hand
I always flex in front of all my friends

I'm gonna put my legs behind my head
And suck my own dick
Because it's masculine

Craft beer's for pussies
I only drink busch lite
And if you talk shit on kid rock
I'll end your fucking life

I park in the handicap spot because I don't give a fuck
I used to drive a pickup but now I drive a monster truck

Holy shit

God damn

Who needs a gym when I can work out in my muscle car
I'll pick a fight with anyone inside my favorite sports bar
I have tattoos of barbed wire and broken glass
My dad's a cop and I bet he could kick your dad's fucking ass

People wonder why I'm always angry all the time
But if you mention it I'll get defensive at the drop of a dime
I swear to god I've never cried a single time in my life
No, I'm totally serious, I'm the manliest type of guy

Yeah

I only enjoy eating phallic shaped foods
Bananas, hot dogs, popsicles, and sausages too
I do this because it's manly, not because it's insane
I don't have no time for weaklings, especially if I'm watching the game

I cut the sleeves off of all of the shirts I buy
It helps me show off my muscles to other guys
I like to think that they see me and think I'm tough
But honestly, I weep at night because I'm not that buff

I'll never understand why women always put me in the friend zone
I send them unsolicited dick pics from my phone
The truth is I think there's something wrong with me
Maybe it's my anger issues or that I have a tiny pee pee