The Best In The End Lyrics

how is my grey world good for me?
and the memories that i can't remember?!
this world that i can't even hear?!
destitution, wrath and envy
that's the language i seak
I feel pain in any movement,
any inhale, any exhale
my mind is filled with thoughts about death
all the money I have saved
is for my cremation
I wish I was a year young
a month, or at least a day
I suffer
I wish I could fall asleep and never wake up