Untitled Lyrics

i feel like i'm constantly writing everything down
even when i know that i should be walking alive, joining the crowd
i'm left here pondering if it's my fault you left
or if i should just remind myself that these memories are the only real bliss
i know i'm replacing the thoughts of you with words
like i'm painting a picture even if that sounds absurd
i don't know how else to deal with regret
i want to do something louder that I'll never forget

contort my image of you with the embers of my remorse
i drank and i drank, i only ever felt worse

even when i know that i only want to die
i tell myself it's because i've never truly felt alive
and no, i know depression isn't something that i'm gonna fake
but all the world has ever done is take
i feel like i can't even remember my own name
let alone my fathers face
the emptiness i feel knowing he's still alive,
knowing that one day i'll be the thing my family hangs onto of him
it hurts thinking about the people i've lost
so many words that are stuck between a frost
i wish for whatever reason i could help us put it all behind us

and no you don't have to ever forgive me, no you don't
i'll be alone in the sea with my sorrows to help me float
the feeling that reminds me, guides me, hiding it all inside me
is it hate or is it fate
i can't distinguish anything anymore it's all too blurry
don't correlate the sound of my voice that i leave behind
with everything you regret don't summarize
we all have our chance to be better
the past walks aligns us feeling bitter
i worry that when people say love and hate are familiar feelings
that in reality i'm not going to say i'm a duality formed from the ashes of everything healing
i don't know what's worse
because i love to hate myself
so i don't blame you i really don't
because who would want to hate something they grew to love.
i just really don't want you to forget everything that made me feel like i wasn't a disappointment
especially because everyone always tells me to grow up