Fruitcake And Cider Lyrics

"...ye beware thy animals, thou art foul machines."
- King Kong Bible (toilet reader)

I) Hiding in My Sleep Depravation Tank

Some people say there's something wrong with me
and the animal kingdom. I tell them because they don't
know we're being observed. When you're at my
apartment, don't pet them. Don't let them know we're
on to them; and I tell my wife, "Madalin, don't let
them in." It's not easy trying to convince people of
the conspiracy. At least the NRA believes me. I say
there's still a chance to pile them up. A building sized
mound of burning fur. I decided to make a trip to
Binder Park Zoo yesterday. I threw letters into the
cages saying, "I know who you are. Tell God to please
leave me alone." I can't watch. I can't think. What's
going wrong? The cockroaches in my cupboard are
always smiling at me when I reach for the corned
beef. I can't read. I can't sleep. What's going wrong?
Even with my pets; dogs and cats among them; 'cuz
everybody knows pets are just camcorders for God.
Staying close. Watching and filming my actions. Drunk
in the bathroom. Smiling in my car. On the sidewalk
asking for a cigarette. Or even when I'm good.
Betrayed by my cat. I swear, It's always my cat.
Always my cat.