BBC Wild Life Lyrics

Sex can be pretty risky
When you're feelin' kinda frisky.
Especially if you're a wild creature
Endowed with a singular feature.

Just imagine being a whale
And most awfully a male.
You would have a giant penis,
All dangling and venous.

It could produce drag or become shark's food,
Mistakenly eating thy erection protruding.
Or else you could be a bee mating in flight,
As the female breaks half your penis with might.

Perhaps you feel like post-coitus snacking,
Then why not be a female praying mantis to cut off a head after whacking?
Besides, wouldn't it be nice to have detachable genitalia?
Just like a spider, you could screw chicks from China to Somalia.

But with female hyenas one should watch out,
As they all come with penises like Thai hookers, no doubt.

I bet you wished you were a banana slug to have a dick as big as yourself.
Unfortunately, you're like a gorilla, 2 inches length-wise
And just like Flipper, you're not much of a boss,
As 12 seconds ejaculation isn't quite fucking like a horse.