Scooped Out Eyeballs Lyrics

I was collecting a bribe from the manager of the music shop
And I heard a twisted ugly sounds all over the store
Familiar songs taking multiple shits on my balding head
And mushroom haired dipshits all giving an o-face
I heard the first thirty seconds of holy fucking wars
And an oversaturated crate belting out crazy train
I wanted to pull a gun on Johnny Guitar Hero's groin
And tear up all the tab to the first four Metallica albums
Scooped out fucking eyeballs
Amidst a bloodbath of death
Scooped out fucking eyeballs
Amidst a fucking bloodbath of death
To my left a washed up unkempt alcoholic with a fender
Playing a generic blues riff, bending every other note
My lips fell off my face my teeth ground themselves to dust
I suddenly wanted an extraperitoneal rupture of the bladder
I heard the first few measures of Stairway to Heaven
And averted my eyes to avoid eye contact with the player
So glad to carry a sealed bag of dog shit in my pants
So fucking happy that I was armed with a metal spatula
No more funky slap bass solos
No more smoke on the water
Scooped out fucking eyeballs
Tears of pain, not inspiration
I must kill and fucking kill again