$10,000,000 Winner Lyrics

Socrates, Plato
And Eva Gabor
Called a meeting
To stop the next war
Judge Wopner was chosen
As the judge
To intervene
In the serious grudge
The problem started
When a geezer named Steve
Got a call
It was his last reprieve
Steve ran a house
Of ill repute
But his ladies split
With the loot
He was not ready to rock
And not ready to jam
But when the phone rang
It was Ed McMahon
You've seen me on TV
And you know who I am
I've come to lay 10,000,000
In your hand
You're rich said Ed
You're super rich
And you can do what you want
Without a hitch
Steve met Suzanne
Who was a virgin
They took a jet to Paris
To a plastic surgeon
Said the surgeon I can make you
A world wide attraction
You can get yourself done
Like Michael Jackson
Or Elizabeth Taylor
Or stuffed like Trigger
Or whatever else you want to do
With your figure
Said Steve I want the best
I want the best from TV
I want to be the most stud
I want to be me
And the same for Suzanne
Do you understand?
She must be the most fly
Ever known to man
So with a digital sampler
He sampled the best
He created composites
That out did the rest
A model for Steve
And one for Suzanne
The most superior beings
Ever known to man
Then for two long weeks
They were under the knife
The surgeon worked days
And into the nights
Suzanne's breasts were enlarged
Her stomach was flattened
New DNA
Skin smooth as satin
And on Steve's manhood
The doc did no skimp
Steve's muscles made
Schwarzenneger look like a wimp
Injected, implanted the results
Did astound
It turned out so large
It nearly dragged on the ground
They put out an album
And rock stars they became
And for their careers
They took on new names
He became "Driller"
And she became "Killer"
In the first two weeks
They sold more than "Thriller"
But one problem remained
Since they'd been
With the surgeon
Suzanne, you see,
Was still a virgin
The cause of the problem
Was in Steve's thing
It was so awesome in size
He could not get it in
They were true to each other
Tho' it may sound corny
But pumped with hormones
They were dangerously horny
When out on the stage
And the fly girls were screaming
It was all Steve could do
To keep from creaming
One night in Hamburg
Where the hip did meet
A fly girl jumped the stage
And delivered a treat
She ripped off her shirt
And began dancing around
Security had to wrestle
Her to the ground
It was already too late
Steve has busted his trousers
The cops arrived with
Some doberman bowsers
The crowd screamed at Steve
An amazing sight
The whole place erupted
In a terrible fight
When the dust cleared
Things were real tense
His brains were real clouded
He was acting real dense
Will all his money
He owned some
Nuclear weapons
He now stood poised
With his hand on the button
The politicians were all
In an uproar
Most were afraid Steve
Would start the next war
Without some good thinking
The world would be doomed
The surgeon raised
Socrates and Plato
From the tomb
With Eva Gabor
And judge Wopner too
They all flew to Hamburg
To see what they could do
With steroids and hormones
And tranquilizer gun
They pulled out the stops
And ended Steve's run
Suzanne was upset
But helped by the surgeon
And by all accounts
She's no longer a virgin
She got a job in his lab
First as a cover
But one thing led to another
And now she's his lover